NOW and LATER

pig_web1 

I was surprised and honored to learn that I am a candidate to become the next president of NOW.  I think it’s a great idea because the organization needs a man in charge who knows how to get things done, someone with the balls to take risks.  As Ms. magazine says “The best woman for the job is a man.”

My first act as president will be to change the name of the organization to “LATER” which stands for “Ladies After True Equal Rights.”  Just imagine the chants at tea parties:

What do we want? 

EQUAL RIGHTS!

When will we get them? 

LATER!

My goal will be to restore the true balance intended by God by putting men and women in their proper places.  As Rick Warren says, it is natural for men to be on top, supported and adored by the weaker sex.  “True equal rights” means the right of men to lead and the right of women to help men lead.  The LATER credo will be:

Helping men help women

Under my leadership, LATER will continue to be an organization made up primarily of financially secure (upper-middle class) women with college degrees. We will not discriminate – membership will be open to whites and the right (non-threatening) kind of minorities (see: Oprah)  The LATER motto will be:

“We got ours, now go get yours!”

Poor, uneducated women can go cheney themselves – they can’t afford to pay dues anyway.  Besides, how would it look if we belonged to the same organization as our employees?

7 Responses to NOW and LATER

  1. gxm17 says:

    Brilliant!

  2. HT says:

    Irony is not dead. Terrific eviseration!

  3. Cinie says:

    Can a woman properly “Cheney” herself without one of these? http://www.headostate.com/

  4. myiq2xu says:

    Cinie:

    It depends – does she have “man hands?”

  5. Carol says:

    Let me know when and I will join.

    CAROL HAKA :evil:

  6. [...] myiq2xu on being nominated the next president of NOW. It’s brilliant. My first act as president will be to change the name of the organization to “LATER” which stands for “Ladies After True Equal Rights.” [...]

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