Captain Spaulding Says Drop It Already!

The Captain has a message to all those lefty-bloggers who keep obsessing about Barack Obama’s birth certificate and other issues relating to his birth: 

DROP IT!

Okay, we get it already.  His parents weren’t legally married, and even if they were he was conceived out-of-wedlock.  Who gives a flying fuck?

First of all, his mother was a United States citizen, which makes him a citizen too, even if he was born in another country (which is pure speculation anyway.)  So it isn’t relevant to anything, including his qualifications for President.

Secondly, we’re liberals and progressives, which means WE ARE NOT JUDGMENTAL.  That’s the kind of bullshit we condemn when the fundies start acting all holier-than-thou, so let’s not be hypocrites like them.

Third, even if we were going to be judgmental, the sins of his parents are their’s alone, Barack Obama is wholly innocent of them.  Let’s save our criticism for things he is guilty of, which gives us more than enough to talk about.

Lastly, even if he is being secretive or dishonest about the subject, can you blame him?  We defended Bill Clinton’s lying about Monica Lewinsky because IT’S NOBODY’S DAMN BUSINESS!

Your obsession with this story is making us look bad.  We’re bloggers, not sleazy tabloid reporters.  So the Captain says knock it off before he gets upset.  And you don’t want to upset the Captain, do you?

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