This year was supposed to be a “sure thing” for Democrats, with generic Democrats handily beating generic Republicans. But current polls show a close race, and some even have McCain ahead. What happened?
Here’s some tips from the DNC’s “Snatch Defeat From the Jaws of Victory” manual:
- Waste your brand name – When the voters hand you a big mid-term Congressional victory, immediately declare that “impeachment is off the table” and continue business as usual. That way the voters will decide that there isn’t a dime’s worth of difference between the parties.
- Select an empty suit as your nominee – Find the least qualified candidate in modern history, and rig the outcome so that he is declared the nominee despite losing the popular vote and all the key battleground states.
- Divide the party – Have your selected nominee run a divisive campaign that alienates key constituencies, like women, rural and blue collar voters. Continue to insult and offend them even after the primaries are finished.
- Piss on your past – Have your selected nominee denigrate the legacy of the most successful Democratic President since FDR. Then accuse the former President of racism.
- Run to the right – Don’t pay attention to polls showing that the voters are longing for a liberal/progressive leader. Have your candidate take positions and use rhetoric similar to the GOP, further blurring distinctions between the parties.
- Whine a lot – Have your selected nominee complain about everything, and blame everyone but himself.
- Be arrogant and presumptuous – Have your selected nominee act like he has already won, have him stroke his ego with things like faux Presidential seals and staged events.
- Play the GOP’s preferred game – Have your unknown empty suit nominee run a character-based campaign against a former POW who is well-known, respected and well-liked by the media. Make unfounded accusations of racism and cheating against him. Lather. rinse, repeat until November.